im not ready to say good bye

what a long day and it is not even 8pm... ahhh

next door neighbors decided to Start partying at 230am....not cool... and they did not keep the noise level down.... really not cool... so i was REALLY Sleepy this morning. Chuck slept threw it so he was a sweet heart and took logan out this morning at let me sleep.

woke up at 8 to a hungry baby. got him fed then went and had a bowl of rice crispies. got every one ready for church and got out the door an hour later then i had planed but oh well..

when we got to church i found out that the Breakfast bunch is having a baby shower for me at breakfast this saturday. that is so sweet and im look forward to it.

chuck took logan to nursery and then went to his meeting. i took emmett with me to sunday school. it was a good lesson...

went to sacrament and we got to sit in the sac room for the whole meeting... logan was realy sleepy but he was a really good boy. Emmett slept threw all of it and did not wake up till we got back home.

had lunch and put the boys down for a nap. chuck and dez played mario cart.

when logan woke up we called grandma to see if we could come visit her and papa... she said dad and denise were there and that papa was not having a very good day. she said that he would be sleeping all the time because of the morphine and that she thinks the bone cancer has spread to his shoulder because he is in so much pain there. he is also not eating again.

dad called me a little latter when he had left grandmas and told me not to listen to her about waiting to come over he said that he will be very suprised if grandpa makes it to next weekend. he is very week is in pain every where and is not talking.

i packed emmett in the car and went over there. Grandpa was out and did not move at all while we were there. Grandma held the baby and we just sat. we did not really talk about anything...we did not really talk at all.. she just held emmett and talk to him... and she smiled a lot. i think it was a good distraction for her.

i am planning on bringing both boys over there tmw and we will see how things are.

Im not ready to say good bye but i am ready for him to die. I know that he will be in a better place where he wont be in pain any longer. he wont be so weak, he will be able to move and talk and feel good. but im not ready to not have a grandfather around any more. he has been such a BIG part of my life and i wish so bad that he could be around to be a part of my childrens life as well.. i love watching him and logan... they were so close and they both smiled so big when ever they were around eachother. i am also not ready to have grandma be alone. she loves him so much. i have never seen such sweet love and devotion. i hope that me and chuck feel for eachother the same way i watch my grandparents after 50+ years of being companions. i wish that she had the same understanding of the lords plan for us so that she would know for sure that she will be able to see him again.

jaundice

it looks like Emmett is turning a bit yellow. we tried to get in to see the dr today but they were all booked up and we did not want to have to go sit at the ER so we are just going to wait for tomarrow morning and if he is still this yellow then we will go to the Dr.

we had a good day today. it was nice to spent time with both the boys!

spent the day playing with the boys. we played out side a lot today. it was really nice out. and hung out with Dez a lot. when chuck got home we got ready and then took Emmett and went to the 5 year anv. dinner for the singles ward we were in before we got married. logan stayed home... he was almost ready for bed by time we left.

it was a really good dinner and show.. and it was great to see a lot of people that i had not seen in a really long time.

Cas and David were there and at first i thought maybe we were on the outs with them again cuz they did not even seam to look at us but by the end of the night we had a nice long talk and everything is good now. I hope that we can work our way back to the way things were. it was realy had to go from BFF bridesmaids in eachothers weddings to NOTHing.... i hope that we leave all that in the past and can pick up and move forward again.

time to feed that baby and get to bed.

took the baby to the ward activity tonight. every one was suprised to see me up and about but i feel great. there were not a lot of people there but it was not to bad of a turn out. we ended up getting a few cool things from the boy scout auction... even got a christmas gift... yaahhh for early shopping... lol.

Off the Lights

Got Emmetts blood drawn at 9 and then saw dr hoang at 1030 his levels are down to 13 so we will be able to be off the lights. we will still have the equipment over the weekend so we will still use it during the day while he is sleeping but we can go to the store... we need diapers we have used 80 in 5 days.... and we will be able to be off of the lights at night... that means that i will be sleeping in my own bed tonight.... yaaaaa me!!!! and on that happy note im off to bed

Levels are still going down . we will be going to get his blood drawn at the dr's tmw and then get to see Dr hoang and see if we can get off the lights. it is supose to be chucks day off but he is just going to take half day so that he can go to the Dr's with us and then go back to work. hopfully they will have good news for us tmw.

levels are going down slowly.

chuck went back to work today. home health came out and checked on Emmett. his levels are going down slowly but at least they are going down. Logan has alergies and its been a bit windy out so he has had to stay in the house. i dont think he is too happy about it but he has been having fun playing with his easter toys.

monday

today was chucks last day home with us. we didnt get to do too much cuz emmett is still hooked up to the light. chuck and Logan got to play and spend lots of time together so that was good.

cant wait to get to sleep on my bed again. the floor sucks

easter

Got up this morning and Emmett was still really yellow so we called and made a DR apt. the soonest we could get in was 1030 but that worked out well because we got to spend time doing easter stuff with Logan. we made breakfast and did easter baskets. Logan got a really cute basket with some Shake and Go cars from the movie cars in it and some other little stuff. Emmett got a soft bunny.

when we went to the Dr the first thing they said was "wow he is glowing" after that we knew what was going to happen. we took him down to the lab and got his blood drawn then went home to check on logan. Dez stayed home from church and hung out with him so that he did not have to stay at the Dr office with us all morning. we got him lunch and then went back up to the Dr's to get the lab results. his levels were a little lower then logans were when he had jaundice but it was still really high. 19.7

they said they didnt know if we should go to the hospital or if we could do the phototherapy at home. after we told them that we had been threw this with our first they decided that we could go home and see how things went.

it took the home health people FOREVER to show up with the equipment. but we got him all hooked up.

My dad and denise came over to see the baby and to bring logan and emmett their easter bags.

chuck and logan went over to Rosans for easter dinner and i stayed home with the baby. they brought me home a plate of food and we watched a movie. we are going to have to stay in the living room for the next few night cuz thats where the equipment is hooked up. fun fun...

a nurse will be out in the morning to draw emmetts blood and see how he is doing.

home

we got to come home from the hospital today. we stoped by Grandma and papas and showed them the baby. Grandma was so excited to hold the baby and papa had tears in his eyes when he saw him. Papa was to weak to hold him but he watched him for a long time.

when we got home Logan was so happy. he was happy we were home and happy to see the baby again. he is still smitten and wants to help all the time.

it was really nice to get to take a real shower and to get into my own cloths... and im really excited to sleep in my own bed.

Emmett Lawrence Henson

got to the hospital at about 9am and got hooked up to the monitor and i was having contractions about every 5 min and was at 4 cm. got admited...got a room... and started walking again...i think i ended up walking a marathon. sling jen came down and walked with us. besides the contractions time passed pretty quick. even met a girl that was walking with us. it was her first and she was progressing slow like me. we passed eacher a lot in the hall!



ended up getting the epideral at about 6 and got my water broke and started on pitocin at about 7. my epideral only worked on my left side so they redid it at 8 (fun) i progressed real quick after all that. next time they went to check me the head was right there.

pushing was not bad and did not take as long as logan but still took over an hour. the cord was around his neck and one of his arms came out with the head. after the head was out Chuck got to catch the baby. i only got to see the baby for a min before he was taken to get checked out. they had a Dr come check out his shoulder. because the one arm came out twisted with his head he had a pinched nerve in his shoulder and was having trouble moving that arm. that fixed itself in the time it took me to get stitches so that was good. the other problem was that his sternum had not calsified so it is soft like the ear making his rib cage cave in. it looks supper scary but they dont antisipate it causing problems. but if you were to see him cry or with hicups you would be scared....

Emmett Lawrence Henson was born at exactly midnight. the nurse asked chuck what he wanted his birthday to be. aparently you cant have a birth time of 0000 so his birthday would have to be april 8 at 2359 or april 9 at 0001. chuck desided on april 9th. he is 20 inches and 6lb13oz.



jen went and got us dinner at in and out. (thank heavens they are open till 1am) i had not had any food in over 24 hrs so i was SO hungry.

emmett got cercimsized already and is nursing really well.

we have had a few visitors today. my dad came up denise came up and rose and the girls came up. and best of all Logan got to come up... he is so in love with his brother... it is so Awsome.



i have been up and walking around and feel great. cant wait to get home tmw.

on our way to the hospital

did not get a lot of sleep last night. lots of cramping and contractions. im going to take a shower and spend a few min with Logan and then make our way to the hospital. cant wait to meet this little one and to be done with being in labor!

i think the baby is on his way

having lots of contractions... waiting for chuck to get off work and then we will go to the hospital and get checked out... till then i am taking Rose and Suzy and Logan to down town Disney to the lego store to get a free lego bunny... the walk should do me good!

off the trib

Dr said that it was safe to stop taking the trib so my last pill was at 3 am. am already feeling lots of contractions but they dont hurt too bad so chuck is going to go to work... we will see how i am feeling at lunch